Another step closer

I am officially registered and have my plane ticket for Mission Training International in Colorado August 3-21! I will be in their SPLICE program - here is a little excerpt from their website describing the program:

SPLICE’s three-week, pre-departure program is designed to help you–and your family–develop the practical skills and attitudes that will successfully take you through the challenging and rewarding process of being interwoven with another culture.

SPLICE focuses on your skill and character development in six vital areas:

Spiritual
Personal
Lifestyle
Interpersonal
Cultural
Endure/Enjoy

Moving from one culture to another, with all of the accompanying value differences, is similar to the process of splicing together the strands of two pieces of rope. Splices are never invisible, but, as any sailor knows, the completed splice becomes the strongest part of the rope.

I am so excited about this new step toward getting to the DR! You can check out MTI's website at www.mti.org.

A Long Overdue Update

So. I have not written in nearly two months. I would like to use the excuse that I have been too busy, but since graduation on May 10, I haven't done much! I have enjoyed spending time with my family, reading some good books (most recently, "Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's", by John Robison), and getting ready for Katy's wedding. I also reorganized and cleaned (almost) my bedroom, packing up things I won't need for a while, like sweaters, scarves, and school supplies - instead of a Hope Chest, I have a Hope Rubbermaid! Molly graduates from high school on June 15, and June 17 I leave for a wonderful week in Wheaton spending time with friends and celebrating the marriages of two of my best friends.

I am discovering the difficulties of long-distance relationships. So far, I haven't come up with too many benefits except realizing how much people mean to me and how hard it is not to do life with my close friends every day... This summer will hopefully give me time to figure out long-distance communication, though, and it eases us into my time in the DR - for a few more months, I am still accessible by normal phones, have internet all the time, and can buy a plane ticket to visit people for $150 instead of $600...

I only have two numbers for you this time:

8 weeks from Sunday I leave for missionary training in Colorado
I have raised 60% of my total support - 80% of the one-time costs and 55% of the monthly costs

I will go to Colorado (I think) regardless of what my support status is at that time, but I can't buy a plane ticket to Guatemala for language school until I have 90% of my support. My goal right now is to leave for Guatemala on September 5.

Please continue to pray for me. First, you can pray for my time of preparation this summer. I need to think seriously about logistics like banking and packing, but I also need to spend time preparing spiritually and emotionally, which I sometimes forget. Second, you can pray that the rest of my support comes in (and if you haven't yet, you can support me...) and that I will trust God in this situation. Third, you can pray for my relationships with my friends from Wheaton, that we would learn how to keep them strong and growing in this time of being apart. Finally, as strange as it may sound, pray that I will keep myself involved in music-making, both classical and nonclassical, this summer and when I move to the DR. I do not want to lose that part of me.

Something I have discovered about myself this summer is that I do not often pray using my own words. I love using prayer books, praying Psalms, and using worship songs as prayer, but I seldom actually talk with God. This also means I don't always do much listening. I am trying to change that, to talk to God like I talk to people, and to sit and listen more. At the recommendation of a friend, I am reading Madeleine L'Engle's "Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art," and I was struck by what she wrote about praying:

"Before I can listen to God in prayer, I must fumble through the prayers of words, of willful demands, the prayers of childish 'Gimmes,' of 'Help mes,' of 'I want....' Until I tell God what I want, I have no way of knowing whether or not I truly want it. Unless I ask God for something, I do not know whether or not it is something for which I ought to ask, and I cannot add, 'But if this is not your will for me, then your will is what I want, not mine.' The prayers of words cannot be eliminated. And I must pray them daily, whether I feel like praying or not. Otherwise, when God has something to say to me, I will not know how to listen."

This post has been a little jumbled - I apologize, but in a way it reflects my life right now. I am in a strange waiting period, not only for myself but also for my family, as Molly leaves for a year in the DR July 18 and Katy starts grad school in August. Without a structured schedule, my days and time get a little jumbled too.

Spring is here!

My last Chicago winter is finally over! The sun is shining, the trees and flowers are blooming, and everyone is out on the quad in flip flops... I think I will miss seasons these next two years - rainy and dry aren't real seasons.

It has been a whirlwind month here at school between classes, recitals, concerts, and a hilarious musical called The Boy Friend. We are beginning to realize how little time we have left and trying to make the most of it. (Which usually means not doing homework...!) Three weeks from tomorrow is Commencement. Wow. Wow. Here are some other numbers I have been thinking about lately:

15 weeks until my projected departure date
21 families and individuals who are supporting me
$1400 of one-time costs raised (15%)
$540/month of monthly costs raised (45%)

These last two, my support numbers, are amazing to me. Kids Alive wants me to be at 50% by graduation, and even three weeks ago I was pretty sure I wasn't going to make it. But I am humbled and reminded that God is faithful.

One of my friends gave a devotional in choir last week about Ecclesiastes. She is a senior as well, and she talked about sometimes feeling like what we do here is meaningless - it resonated with me. Then she read Ecclesiastes 3:11:

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

In its time. Right now, after months of waiting for spring, I understand that, but I'm not sure I always like it. I tend to want God to make things beautiful in my time, not his. The second sentence is what hit me, though, "He has also set eternity in the hearts of men." Maybe the reason we sometimes feel like our work is meaningless is that we long so desperately for eternity and for the things of God - the desires he has put in our hearts. Food for thought.

Being sent and Living in the tension

Romans 10:13-15 "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent?

Unless they are sent. I am not simply going out on my own to be a missionary. I am being sent in a multitude of ways - people are sending me by confirming my calling, people are sending me financially, people are sending me with their prayers and their encouragement. I am beginning to realize that being a missionary is not a solitary act but rather the act of a community shown publicly through an individual.

Sometimes I am tempted to brush aside my life here at Wheaton, to fast-forward a few months to August. It's hard not to be cynical and think, "This doesn't matter in the long run" or "I'm not helping anyone by being here, therefore this is inferior." I am working on accepting that we live life in seasons, and this is a season of both endings and preparation for new beginnings. As my Paul of Tarsus professor likes to put it, I am living in a little "already-not-yet" time (without any eschatological connotations, of course). Living in the tension can be hard and confusing, but I am also beginning to find the unique joy of both being present here at school and thinking about the island and my life there.

And so it begins

Here I am.

In just over five months, I will embark on a new adventure as a missionary. I will be serving with Kids Alive International in the Dominican Republic for 2 years. As of now, I will return to Caraballo, the village on the North Coast where I worked as a Kids Alive intern during summer 2007 on SMP.

Of course, being a missionary doesn't just start when I land on the island. I have already begun preparations for my trip, and there will be much more to come these next few months. (I thought I liked logistics...) On August 3rd, I will leave for 3 weeks of missionary training in Colorado, come home for 2 weeks, go to Guatemala for 6 weeks of Spanish school, and then move to the DR!

The most important part of my preparation is building a support base for both prayer and financial support. I need to have all my support either donated or pledged before I can leave. That means I have 5 months to raise $37,220. Wow. This is a huge test for me in trusting God. I know intellectually that God provides, but do I actually believe it? If I am meant to do this, God will make a way. He will.

I am so excited to have this opportunity to serve - to return to the DR and to the children I love so dearly! I am also excited to share this journey with all of you. I will do my best to keep you all updated, and I hope that you will pray for me and consider if and how you could support me.

Specifically right now, I would love prayer for me to be able to balance finishing school with preparing for the DR. I want to be able to be fully present in my classwork and in my relationships here and make the most of these last two months, but I also have preparations that need to get done and my mind drifts to the island a lot...

Jehovah Jireh.