Relaxing

After Molly graduated from DTS, she spent a week in Montellano with me. We got to go into Caraballo and walk around, do some shopping at the art co-op there, go to the beach, and hang out with Lauren. We also spent a night at a nearby resort (Molly's Christmas present) complete with air conditioning, pina coladas, and water slides! It's good to take a break from life, relax, and pamper yourself a little every once in a while! We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves!

Christmas party!

Each year the Care Center throws a Christmas party for the kids. They get a fancy lunch, enough to take some of it home to their families. This year we killed one of our giant pigs to eat for lunch... it was all going fine until Jessi found the pig's head sitting in a bowl of pig intestines in the freezer... gross. I still ate it, though, and it was delicious! After lunch, the kids brought their parents back for the presentation: acrostic poem recitations, the Christmas choir, special awards for the 50 kids with perfect attendance, pantomimes/interpretive dances, and a Christmas message. Then we got to give the kids their gifts - candy, fruit, and underwear - and give the parents a piece of cake and a soda. The kids were really excited about the party (they call it "Kids Day") and about their gifts! Here are a few pictures from the event. Clockwise from the top left: the choir backstage, eating lunch, perfect attenders, making the balloon arch, and the "Navidad" acrostic.

Molly graduated (again)!

Not many people have two graduations within six months, but Molly did! I am in Jarabacoa this weekend for her graduation from YWAM's Discipleship Training School! This morning she and 15 Dominicans and Americans finished their five month Bible/missions classes and outreach around the country. The ceremony included worship time, dances, testimonies, a video, and the handing out of the diplomas. Then we all had lunch and Molly and her DTS friends left for some fun in the capitol. I am staying in Jarabacoa until Monday to go to the Kids Alive Christmas party and spend time with the missionaries up here. Then Molly and I will spend the week at my apartment before returning to the states.

We held our Christmas program at school last Tuesday, then spent a day on a staff retreat/party on Thursday. Look for pictures and more about those days soon!

Please be in prayer this week for rest and relaxation for Molly and me. Pray for our re-entry to the US after a few months away. Pray specifically against cynicism toward American culture or our church. Pray for Lauren and the Makarios staff as they still have school this week. Pray for the children and their families, that they will understand the true meaning of Christmas and that they will feel the hope and joy of this season.

Molly's DTS classmates with Val, the DTS director.

Codetel

Codetel is the notoriously anti-customer-service internet company here on the north coast. We signed up for internet about a month ago and were promised that within 7 days it would be installed and working. Right. Our friends waited three months to get theirs working... Friday they called and said they were coming to install the internet in 5 minutes, so I hopped on a moto and sped through the cane fields. They didn't come. But...

Today they came! And we have internet!

Lauren bribed the Codetel man with the promise of Christmas cookies if he got everything to work. I don't know if he really wanted the cookies or if he had been given orders to get everything done with the obnoxious gringas that called Codetel every day for a week... either way, he got everything working for us! A little Christmas present from Codetel!

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

This is what we did for Thanksgiving... Brian, Julie-Anne, and I hiked to a waterfall with the American team that cooked us Thanksgiving dinner!

It’s been a while since I blogged. That is a testament to the fact that the Dominican internet company does not value customer service. But besides that...

It’s Christmastime! Some days I want to believe that maybe if I listen to enough Christmas music, read the Christmas story enough, watch Charlie Brown and Rudolph, bake some cookies, that it will magically drop 50 degrees and start snowing! I have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that it’s Christmas. I love Advent and Christmas, and being here, on the beach or at school, dripping in sweat and looking at palm trees, is worlds away from December in Wheaton and Quakertown, full of snow and cold and the stress of finals and juries. And I feel worlds away. I remember that this was Christmas Festival weekend, that I have a lot of friends preparing to take juries soon, that it’s snowing at home and there are Christmas pageant practices, and something doesn’t click. I love my life here, it’s just different. I’m thinking about whether the kids at the care center will eat over Christmas break, how we will get enough sponsors to bring in a new class of preschoolers in January, whether the power will stay on long enough for me to finish washing my clothes. I’m preparing to give our kids underwear and a bag of fruit for Christmas, accompanying the Christmas choir, decorating the cafeteria for our Christmas program. I’m wondering how many of the kids won’t come back after Christmas, wondering how I can help sponsors understand that sometimes parents move away and take their kids to Haiti and there’s nothing we can do about it.

I have been blessed with wonderful friends and good fellowship over the past few weeks. I had two Thanksgiving dinners – one with the Makarios/Kids Alive/La Tienda crew in Puerto Plata, and one with all the Kids Alive DR staff in Jarabacoa. I spent two days in Monte Plata learning how to teach English. I was reunited with Lauren after she spent Thanksgiving week in the States, and we baked Christmas cookies while watching Sweet Home Alabama and blasting the fans on us to keep the bugs and heat away... life is different here. Missionary life is not as glamorous as it sometimes seems...

Last night we took a plate of Christmas cookies to our next door neighbors, who have been incredible and helpful, and they told us they are moving across town later this month. I am sad about this, not just because they helped us move in, but because they are genuinely nice people and they have been good friends to us. We’ll still see them because they own a fish shop close to our apartment – the mother has already said she’ll teach us how to cook fish (it’s whole and still has its head and scales…) if we teach her how to make the Christmas cookies (we made peanut butter blossoms)! We are excited for them, though. They currently are a family of 6 living in a 2-bedroom apartment, the same size as the one Lauren and I share, and they are moving into their own house! How wonderful that they have been able to save money to build a house and that they will have the space they need.

At school I have been doing child histories lately, which means I bring the kids in one at a time and talk to them about their families, lives, school, personalities, etc, and then write a history to send to sponsors. One of the boys I had taught when I was here for the summer was a fighter then with terrible behavior. I have noticed an incredible change in him since then, however – now he is pretty well behaved and friendly and smiles. While I was talking to him to get his history, I asked him what he wants to be when he grows up. He responded, “Quiero ser el director.” (I want to be the director.) Turns out his career goal is to become the director of the Park Care Center! Amazing – God’s transformational power at work. I told him I was proud of how he has changed and I think that’s a great goal!

Two weeks from today I will be back in Quakertown, going to Bob White’s to chop down a Christmas tree, trying to stay warm! I will be home for 3 weeks (get your Skype dates and coffee dates in…). I am excited about going home, but also starting to get nervous – how much have I changed since I left for language school? What will be hard about being home? What will I miss from my life here? Will I forget my Spanish while I’m home? As I begin to feel the anxiety once in a while, I try to remember that who I am does not depend on where I am living, that it’s ok for me to have two homes, and that stretching and feeling uncomfortable is often good and growth-producing.

Please be in prayer for me (and for my missionary friends) as I prepare to come home for a few weeks. Pray that the transition would be smooth and that my time at home will be refreshing and encouraging. Also pray for the students as they go a month without school, that God will provide food and keep them safe. Pray that we feel Christmas here and that we can spend time meditating on the incarnation and how our incarnational ministry is rooted in Christ’s first coming and anticipates his second coming. Pray for Molly and me, that as we spend our last week on the island together here in Montellano, we will encourage each other and be able to talk and process what we have felt and learned over the past few months. Pray for safe travels home on the 19th. Thank you so much for your prayers!

Kyle, me, Jenilea, and Julie-Anne roadtripped to Monte Plata to learn to teach English!

Yay Ducks and Yuck Ducks

Sometimes, life here is really great. Like spending two days in the coolness of Jarabacoa with Jenilea and Julie-Anne, watching English and reading classes and relaxing. Or dinner parties with friends (I have been to about five of those since I arrived!). Or spending some time with Brian this week. Or getting laminated fall leaves not once, but twice, in the mail. Or FINISHING my very first sponsorship project and handing it to the people from the Kids Alive home office today. Or getting a kitchen table, a stove, and a refridgerator all at once!

But sometimes life is not great. Like when the same strange bugs invade your living room every night at 7:00 or so and you break all the rules about applying DEET. We may or may not have sprayed it into the air multiple times in our living room and into a fan... you do what you have to do! Or when the power goes out right when you want to cook dinner. Or when the tour bus company is running an hour behind. Or when you are trying to convince yourself that it really is November 13th even though it's 95 degrees outside. Or when you have to go to the ER with your roommate because she has a giant infection in her leg. We did that last night. She's now taking antibiotics and we'll probably make another trip on Sunday to get it drained, and the ER was a fairly traumatic, tearful experience. Thankfully Brian was there to keep us laughing, and Alberto and his family met us at the hospital to drive us to the pharmacy and home.

Please pray that Lauren's leg will heal quickly. Pray for our transitions - we learned about the Chaos stage of culture shock at SPLICE, but learning about it and trying to survive it are very different things! Pray for Lauren's upcoming trip home for Thanksgiving, that it will be good and restful. Pray for our work and our life together, that God will continue to encourage us and guide us.

Why snackrifice?

Where do I even begin? The past week and a half has been a whirlwind. It already feels like I've been here forever! I guess I'll begin by explaining my post title... Lauren and I went to La Sirena, the Dominican version of Walmart, to buy pots and pans and groceries, and we spotted a box of Wheat Thins. This was VERY exciting. And on the back of the box it said, "Why snackrifice?" So we asked ourselves the same question and bought the wheat thins. Definitely a good choice!

I arrived in the DR last Saturday and spent a few days in Jarabacoa getting oriented and translating for a dental team. I spent the day and night Sunday with Molly at the YWAM base, which was great fun and a good birthday treat for her! I arrived in Montellano on Tuesday (a little over a week ago). Lauren and I have been having fun setting up our apartment, which still lacks a lot of furniture, and just spending time together. We spent Friday night sitting on the floor eating dinner by light of a citronella candle, and it was wonderful! The power has been terrible here, so tonight we are getting an inverter. Essentially that means that when the city power goes out, we can power our lights and fans with two car batteries. We're hoping that means that the fans will stay on ALLLLLL night and we won't get eaten alive by mosquitos any more - I seriously look like I have the chicken pox right now.

My daily routine... I get in the gua-gua (that's a 15-passenger van) to go to school at 7:35 every morning. Normally I will spend my mornings working on sponsorship stuff and my afternoons teaching English or music. Just today I found out that I am going to get the chance to start a reading program here in Caraballo to help the kids learn to read and learn to like reading, which is exiting because I love to read!

I spent this week doing our Christmas sponsorship project. Each sponsor receives a Christmas card from his/her sponsored child, and I am responsible for making sure the kids make their cards. We think they came out pretty well!

I feel so blessed to be back. It was really fun to have kids that had been in my class see me, give me a funny look, and then ask "What you name? Did you come before?" (the second one in Spanish). Then I tell them my name and they say "Oh yeah, you were my teacher!" One boy even remembered that I had taught them about Australia! Amazing! I have felt at home here since I arrived. I am blessed that I can communicate and get around on my own, I am blessed to have a wonderful roommate in Lauren, I am blessed that I get to go to school every day and spend time with beautiful children.

Please continue praying for my adjustments to life here. Pray that Lauren and I would get our furniture soon, for our physical health and safety. Pray for wisdom and patience and grace as I figure out where I fit in at the care center and in Kids Alive. But mostly, praise God for his blessings and provision.

The pictures at the top are from our card-making extravaganza and also of my desk in the office. The picture below is what the apartment looks like when Lauren and I are eating/living by Coleman lantern and citronella candlelight!

A Little Random...

The Phillies are in the World Series! Thanks to ESPN Vivo, I got to watch the last 3 games on TV at my host family's house - so exciting!


I graduated from language school today! We got diplomas and everything! 6 weeks and 159 hours later, I am DONE. It feels great! All in all, my experience here in Guatemala was a good one, but I am soooo ready to get to the DR! I have really experienced God as my sustainer here, which has been a huge, though sometimes overlooked, blessing.

I think I might be addicted to the new tv show "Glee." It might be the choir nerd in me... I also really love the song "Sweet Caroline" which was featured in this week's episode. That song makes me think of Skytop because the band (which is always the same - Lexington?) plays/sings that song during the Saturday night dance every year.

In 12 hours I will be awake and getting ready to leave for the airport (yes, that's right. 12 hours from 4:15 pm. Gross). We have a 5 hour layover in Miami, so I hope to make lots of phone calls and drink enough apple cider and pumpkin spice lattes to hold me til Christmas! I am grateful to be traveling with Kyle, a fellow Wheatie who will be working at a different site in the DR. We will spend a few days in Jarabacoa, including (for me, not him!) a sleepover with Molly!!!!! Then Tuesday I will go to Montellano where my wonderful roommate Lauren awaits me in our new apartment!

Finally: I can send and receive texts on my American phone in the DR as if I were in the states. That means you can text me and I can text you without any extra charges!

Thank you for your prayers during my journey thus far - it feels like I have been gone for a long time, but I am just now actually going to the DR! Keep praying for me as I transition to life on the (hot) island, faster Spanish, and working at the Park Care Center. Please pray for guidance for the Kids Alive staff and for me as I figure out what my role at the care center is and how soon I will start different jobs/projects. I am really excited about doing sponsorship work and starting a choir (think a little bit like Jubilee Singers in Spanish!?!) but I want to fill whatever needs are greatest and serve where I fit best. So be praying for wisdom. Thank you!

To close: Part of the Catholic Catechism that talks about God the Sustainer

God Upholds and Sustains Creation (#301)
With creation, God does not abandon his creatures to themselves. He not only gives them being and existence, but also, and at every moment, upholds and sustains them in being, enables them to act and brings them to their final end. Recognizing this utter dependence with respect to the Creator is a source of wisdom and freedom, of joy and confidence.

Adventures with Paige

This Saturday I took the bus to Panajachel, a town on Lake Atitlan, about 2 hours from Antigua. I met up with Paige, one of Katy's housemates from Discipleship Year. We took my first tuc-tuc ride (like a little soft-sided taxi for 2 people) out to the nature preserve. There we hiked the main nature trail for about an hour and a half. Here's the recap:

1 waterfall
2 monkeys (yes, monkeys!)
3 umm I don't know what there were 3 of...
4 coatis
5 suspension bridges (a little sketch in a 3rd world country...)

After our hike we had a nice lunch at a restaurant that had hummus, tibuli, and pad thai (Guatemalan style, of course). It also had hot apple cider! We ended our few hours together with delicious ice cream cones. All in all, it was a wonderful and much needed visit for both of us!

In the tuc-tuc

Check out the monkey! Video farther down.

It was a looooong suspension bridge. I was scared, I'm not going to lie!

A coati. I don't really know what they are... a little like racoons I think.

The waterfall - many suspension bridges later!

Check out this monkey's trick!

To finish (because I would hate to leave you without anything profound)... an interesting quote by Harold Best about the problems and imperfections of the world:

In spite of the degree to which the image of God in us was tarnished and twisted in the Fall, and in spite of the way the entire creation shows the ravages of Satan in ways that go deeper than murders, hurricanes and pestilence, we are created in God's image and the creation continues to declare his glory. No one, not even a Shakespeare, a Bach or a Monet, can ever outimagine, outcraft or outwork the Creator of heaven and earth, who through the Word of his power continues to spin wonder after wonder in endless variety. This stream of loveliness will stop only when an even lovelier creation, unscarred by sin and Satan, will unroll in an eternity of glory and beauty. But for now I revel even in the scars and gashes of this creation, for surrounding them and shining through them is a work that could only have been authored by the uncreated Creator and the unimagined Imaginer. – Harold Best

When the going gets rough...

Lest you think that missionary training is always easy and fun... last week was not. I experienced the closest thing to burnout that I maybe have ever experienced. I didn't want to go to school, I didn't want to do my homework, I didn't really want to do anything! I sent out an SOS email on Thursday night and was unbelievably encouraged by the responses I received. THANK YOU! Thanks to lots of prayer and a wonderful visit with Paige on Saturday (pictures and stories coming soon!), I am doing much better now. The end is near! I leave Antigua Saturday at 5:00 a.m., spend 5 hours in Miami (Pumpkin Spice Lattes, anyone?!), and then head to the DR. I am confident that God will get me through this week as He has sustained me through these past 5 weeks. I am determined to enjoy my last week of fall temperatures, jeans and hoodies, and hot water. And I look forward to seeing Molly on Sunday and being reunited with my roommate Lauren Tuesday night!

Some things I have been pondering these past few days...

"Love your solitude and try to sing out from the pain it causes you." - Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

"We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on You." - 2 Chronicles 20:12

I'm going to leave you with a song (you probably guessed that, right?) that has sustained me through the last week, and really through the past two months, "Always Been Faithful" by Sara Groves.

Morning by morning, I wake up to find the power and comfort of God's hand in mine.
Season by season, I watch him, amazed, in awe of the mystery of his perfect ways.
All I have need of, his hand will provide. He's always been faithful to me.

I can't remember a trial or a pain he did not recycle to bring me gain.
I can't remember a single regret in serving God only, and trusting his hand.
All I have need of, his hand will provide. He's always been faithful to me.

This is my anthem, this is my song, the theme of the stories I've heard for so long:
God has been faithful, he will be again. His loving compassion, it knows no end.
All I have need of, his hand will provide. He's always been faithful to me.

Firsts, Last, and More

Even though I have been here for over a month, this week I experienced several Guatemalan "firsts."

• My first power outage! (I studied by the light of my trusty Coleman lantern!)
• My first glimpse of the Volcan de Fuego from my roof! (an active volcano near Antigua)
• My first time actually seeing fireworks here! (Guatemalans LOVE fireworks and are always setting them off. They also set off cannons. Don't know why, but I always think a war is breaking out!)
• My first earthquake! (More like a 5 second tremor, but still cool!)
• My first Caramal Frappuccino in Guatemala, made by a YWAM staff member at their cafe.
• And to top it off, my first 3-way sister Skype call from 3 different countries!

Today's photo is actually from a few weeks ago, as in our first week in Guate! We like to go to McDonald's for Sunday breakfast. Now before you start laughing, just look at this picture and the VIEW you get at McDonald's - you get to sit on the patio and see the fountain, the ruins, and the volcano. Awesome.

Sunday Kyle and I went to The Oasis, the Kids Alive girls' orphanage between Antigua and Guatemala City. An American team was there and they threw a Princess Party for the girls. Think 50 mostly elementary school aged girls with hair colors, nails done, lots of makeup, and pizza! Then add a power outage and the Americans bringing them a Wii, and you can start to get the idea!

I also experienced a "last" this week: I took my last Spanish test! (Ever, hopefully!) Now I practice translating (being able to translate a story about reforestation in Turkey is going to be really helpful teaching music in the DR...), talk with my teacher, and review grammar that I still mess up. It's exciting to be done with workbooks and tests, though!

Please keep praying for motivation to study/practice these last 7 days of classes. Also pray for my apartment in the DR - my roommate Lauren is trying to sign the lease and get the landlord to let her move in without me being there or paying my deposit, and there will be a lot of logistical things when I first get to the DR with money, lease, reimbursements, bank accounts... yep. So pray that God will show me that He is going before me, because even though I know He is, sometimes I forget.

Fin de Semana!

(That's Spanish for "weekend")

Another week down. Only 2 weeks, 50 hours of class left before I hit the DR! I have to admit I'm a little jealous of Brian, who finished classes today, but I now have a hilarious, wonderful teacher named Olga who makes my classes mostly fun.

This week was game week here at CSA for Kids Alivers... we played SkipBo, a slapping the cards that match game (of course I got a little injured, but it was well worth it!), Guatemala Trivial Pursuit, and Pictionary. All in Spanish. We only got in trouble once for making too much noise - it probably should have been a lot more often! The games were a good break from grammar, though.

This weekend is homecoming at Wheaton, which makes it a prime weekend for reminiscing and hopefully watching the homecoming concert online. I may be a music nerd, but I'm excited to hear this year's concert choir! In honor of that, the QuadForce at Christmas Festival '07:


In other news, I have a plane ticket home for Christmas! It's a little crazy to think about leaving when I haven't even gotten to the DR, but I am excited that I will get to spend 3 weeks at home and that I will get to go to Skytop (family reunion in the snow at an elegant resort... wonderful/culture shock!)

I am also EXCITED EXCITED EXCITED to see Molly in two weeks! The weekend I arrive in the DR is her last free weekend before she leaves for Costa Rica on DTS Outreach, so we will get to spend a little time together - for her birthday and just for life!

Ok I know you probably would rather see pictures of Guatemala/me, but here is a fun sequence of pictures of Molly and Dad at Skytop this January: (I told you it was reminiscing time...)

Pictures! (Finally)

A beautiful sunset from my bedroom door. I have incredible views of flowers, sky, ruins, and volcanoes from my room!

As much as I loved the fall background I originally had, it was a little too hard to read, and I want people to read my blog! So I have chosen a new fall background - hope you like it!

I also decided it was time to put up a few pictures here. If you want to see more, you can see them on my facebook page! Today I am writing from Pollo Campero, the Guatemalan fried chicken chain where we like to eat Sunday lunch and use free wireless! We just found out that there are Pollo Campero's across the US, including Chicago, DC, and New York - delicious!

The group of students who climbed up the "Cerro de la Cruz" (Hill of the Cross) our first Friday in Antigua. Brian, a fellow Kids Aliver, is the guy next to me. The city of Antigua is behind the cross, and behind that is the Volcan del Agua (Water Volcano).

This is the view I wake up to every morning when I open my bedroom door! The flowers are called "Queen's Necklace."

Brian and I hiked up the Volcan Pacaya (see previous post). Here is a little sample of the lava rivers we saw - these are active, hot, flowing rivers of lava about 10 yards from us!
Here I am on the way up the volcano!
The marimba is the national instrument of Guatemala; one Wednesday I went with my teacher Gladis to a Mayan culture museum and coffee plantation and they had lots of displays of marimbas!

October!

Happy fall! Today is the first day of October, which is the month in which I go to the Dominican Republic! (Finally!) Although there are no deciduous trees in Antigua, the weather is fall-like - cool, a little rainy, but still warm enough for flip flops! I also decided my blog could use a little fall makeover...

As of tomorrow I will be halfway done language school! That means 84 hours of Spanish tutoring. Crazy. The good news is that for the rest of my time here I will be taking only 5 hours a day, which means I have 75 hours to go. I also am switching teachers this coming week. They recommend switching teachers every so often so that we hear different people speaking and different vocabulary.

Fewer hours of Spanish also means I have more time to watch the Phillies... Katy says it's called self-care. They actually put stories about the Phillies in the Guatemalan newspaper, which is fun.

Another news of the week: Paige came to visit on Saturday, and it was WONDERFUL to see her and spend the day with her! We climbed the hill with the cross on top in the rain, then walked around Antigua in the rain and ate a delicious lunch and had a great time!

Keep praying, please - I need lots of prayer that I will keep a positive attitude about my studies here and that preparations for the DR will continue to go smoothly. Thank you!

Finally, I will leave you with the verse I have been meditating on this week:

2 Cor. 1:20: For no matter how many promises God has made, they are YES in Christ.

A Glimpse into My Playlist

Maybe it’s just because I’m a musician, but every time I am feeling like the world is crashing down here in Guatemala, one of the songs on my worship playlist speaks to me, as if it were written just to express my feelings or to remind me of a truth I need to meditate on. Yesterday I was sitting on my bed, stuck at home in the dark and the rain, feeling a little homesick and a lot restless, and the first song that came up on my randomly shuffled playlist was “Your Grace Is Enough.” I started thinking about how I am not choosing to let God satisfy me right now. I desire earthly things, thinking they will bring the fulfillment I am seeking. I need to be spending more time with God as my sustenance. A little conviction can go a long way… Then came “Everlasting God,” and I was reminded that my strength will rise as I wait upon the Lord. What it means to wait upon the Lord is something I have been thinking about a lot lately. I think part of waiting upon the Lord is recognizing and claiming that God desires to make all things work together for me for good – even 6 weeks of Spanish school in Guatemala. Even when I can’t see or understand what God is doing, if I wait on Him, He will reveal His purposes and strengthen me. The third song that played was “Alábale,” a Spanish worship song I learned at SPLICE. I was so encouraged by this song – it helped me (as it does every time I hear it) to remember what God has done for me. The Israelites were commanded over and over to write down the good things God had done for them and to teach their children about God’s faithfulness. Never once were they commanded to remember the misfortunes they experienced. This was also a practice we began at SPLICE, writing down a few moments of joy and a few things we were thankful for every day. As I listened to, “Alábale,” I was struck with how much God has indeed done for me! He has provided me the ability to learn a new language easily, a beautiful city in which to study, a teacher and a host family I get along with well, the funds to serve in the Dominican Republic, a group of friends waiting for me to get there, fellow Kids Alive missionaries to discover Guatemala with, and soooooo much more. So much. Changing my frame of mind from self-pity to thankfulness has been a critical piece of adapting to life in Antigua. I will survive these next 5 weeks, and my prayer is that God helps me to enjoy my studies and my homestay more and more each day. And when I wonder what in the world I am doing, when I wish I were home watching the Phillies or relaxing with my parents, when I feel trapped as a single woman in a city that gets dark at 6 pm, when I am positive I can’t memorize another verbal clause or write another sentence using the imperative tense, I will proclaim that God has been good to me. I will set up my Ebenezers, my stones of remembrance, declaring that God has done mighty things for me, that He was here first and that He continues to go before me. ¡Alábale!

¿Qué El te ha dado a ti? What has He given you?
¡Alábale! Praise Him!
¿Que El ha sido para ti? What has He been for you?
¡Alábale! Praise Him!
¿Qué El ha hecho por ti? What has he done for you?
¡Alábale! Praise Him!
¿Qué El te ha dicho a ti? What has He said to you?
¡Alábale! Praise Him!
¡Alábale! Levanta tus manos, tu voz también Praise Him! Lift your hands, your voice too
Jehová habita las alabanzas de su pueblo. Jehovah inhabits the praises of His people.
¡Alábale! Con toda tu alma y todo tu ser Praise Him! With all your soul and all your being
Jehová habita las alabanzas de su pueblo. Jehovah inhabits the praises of His people.
Eres Santo, Eres Digno You are Holy, You are Worthy
Tú mereces todo, Dios You deserve everthing, God

Ok, one last song. “Big Enough” (Chris Rice). My emotions are a roller coaster; some days, some hours, are great, and some are miserable (paradox…). Some days it’s easy to live the questions, and some days I just want answers. “I imagine the size of the universe, and I wonder what’s out past the edges. And I discover inside me a space as big, and believe that I’m meant to be filled up with more than just questions.” This is how I feel a good portion of the time. I am filled up with questions, and I do believe God will reveal the answers to me in His time, but patience is hard! As this song also says, I am not big enough to find my own answers or solve my own problems, but God is big enough to hold all my questions and problems and doubts in His hands even as He holds me. God doesn’t have to let go of me to hold my questions. There is room for all of me, my secure beliefs and my insecurities, to exist together in God. ¡Alábale!

El Volcán Pacaya

To celebrate surviving our first week of Spanish school, Brian and I decided to climb el Volcán Pacaya on Saturday. Guatemala has 33 volcanos, of which 3 are active, of which one is Pacaya. An active volcano. What better way to spend a Saturday morning? It’s safe to go to because (we were told, anyway!) there are so many outlets under the volcano for the lava that it won’t erupt upward. We hopped into a van at 6:00 am ready for an adventure and drove a little over an hour to the national park where Pacaya is located. Our group of 14 people and one guide began to climb the mountain through a forest. We pretty much went straight up a volcano for an hour and a quarter! Some men followed us on horseback, ready to rent the horses to us if we got tired. After about a mile and a half, we emerged from the forest, and in front of us was the volcano. Think Mordor from Lord of the Rings. Also think GIANT sand dune but made of volcanic ash. After we crossed the ash, we got to the hardened lava. Hardened lava is sharp and a little tricky to walk on! The reason for going, of course, was to see the molten lava, and there was plenty of it! We saw lava falling (literally) down the side of the volcano, we stood unknowingly on top of a thin layer of hardened lava with molten lava underneath it (until we felt it through our shoes and quickly stepped off!), we saw glowing crevices, and we saw rivers of thick, flowing, orange lava. They don’t have rules like we have in our national parks, so we were only 5 or 6 feet from these huge rivers of lava. It was hot – our guide roasted marshmallows over the lava! After walking around and admiring the lava for a while, we hiked back down the mountain and arrived back in Antigua by lunch.

I spent that entire morning in awe of creation. Every time we stopped at a scenic overlook and looked out over the villages to the other volcanos or looked out over the plains to see the Pacific Ocean or looked up and saw only volcano, all we could say was “Wow,” and the other person would respond, “Yep.” God is so awesome and great. I am amazed that He made this incredible earth, that He made entire mountains out of slow-flowing lava. Standing there when we first came out of the forest, looking at the volcano in front of us, was one of those moments when I was overwhelmed by my smallness and God’s greatness. It was like standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon. If we remain silent, the rocks really will cry out.

ps - I would post pictures, but my camera card isn't working right now... sorry!

Spanish Class, Guatemalan Host Family, and American Church

Brian and I were talking about people who never update their blogs and then put up 4 or 5 posts in one day, and I said I wouldn't do that. Well, I lied. I'm putting up several (sort of long) posts today for your reading pleasure!

I have been studying a lot of Spanish. I took my first test yesterday and passed from Grade E to Grade F. The school goes through Grade G, so I am on track to finish all the workbooks and then some in the next 5 weeks... My tutor, Gladis, is wonderful and does all sorts of things with me to keep the 6 hours a day interesting. Every day we check the newspaper to see if the Phillies won, study lots of grammar, read short stories, translate paragraphs from English to Spanish, and read articles from the Spanish version of Today’s Christian Women. We also try to do the newspaper crosswords, which is a humbling experience for me. I don’t have the vocabulary to do Spanish crosswords. Neither does my teacher, so we sit with a big Spanish dictionary, my little Spanish-English dictionary, and spend an hour completing a third of the crossword! We also play Scrabble, which I can do in Spanish (Thanks, Molls, for playing so much Spanish Quiddler with me!). Some days we take little trips to the cross up the hill, to a museum, or to some ruins. There are ruins on every block here because there was a big earthquake a few hundred years ago. I have homework every night too, worksheets or compositions or translations.

I am living with the Morales family here in Antigua, close to school and to the central park. I live with my host mom and dad, two sisters (18 and 15), one brother (19), aunt, and grandfather. We also have a cat, Llemu (since nothing is upholstered, my allergies are fine), and a turtle, Manuela, who has free range of the house. I haven’t seen her yet, but I’ve been told she lives under my brother’s bed! We eat dinner together every night, which is the true test of my Spanish because everyone speaks quickly and in short phrases and at the same time – sounds like an American dinner table, doesn’t it!

I went to two church services this week. The first, which I will go to every Thursday night, is the weekly YWAM service. It is completely in English and will be a good opportunity for fellowship. Then on Sunday we went to Iglesia El Camino, a bilingual church. Bilingual listening and reading is good for learning a language because you see both languages at the same time and immediately hear translations. The church was almost all Americans, which was a little strange, but it has been really refreshing to have some time to hear English and worship God with other believers. You don’t realize how hard you’re thinking to understand your second language until you’re listening to your first language and realize how easy it is! My Spanish is definitely getting better, though. My host mom tells me that my Spanish is “Super bien!” Still, English is my heart language, so going to worship services in English has been good.

arriving

I made it to Antigua! It's a beautiful old town with ruins and volcanoes and gorgeous flowers. My host family, the Morales family, lives 2 blocks from language school and 4 blocks from Central Park. Today I survived my first day of language school - 6 hours of reviewing Spanish grammar. A lot of it is coming back to me, which is good, but I wish I remembered more. My tutor Gladis is wonderful! September 15 is Guatemalan Independence Day, so there are a ton of extra people in Antigua, marimba concerts in the park, vendors everywhere. Also, a tradition is that on the 14th, everyone runs (seems to be at least a few miles) with a torch to their neighborhood or city or school. I haven't figured out why yet, but it seems a little Paul Revere-esque to me! It's a really fun time to explore Antigua, though, with so much going on.

I am excited for these next 6 weeks. I'm excited for new friendships, for better Spanish, for feeling comfortable in a new place, and for the end when I get to be reunited with my friends in the Dominican Republic! I am also a little nervous, of course. I haven't been placed in a specific level of Spanish yet because I made mistakes on my placement test in almost every level, so I'm a little nervous for when I do get placed in a level that it won't be right. I won't be placed until next week, though, so that's a far-off concern. Only having one Kids Alive friend in Antigua right now is a little rough too, but the prospect of meeting two more within the next week is exciting!

As a typical Jamison, I was very excited to discover that there are multiple ice cream shops (and coffee shops) on every block here! I will maybe report back with the best one in a few weeks... ha.

Please keep praying for me, for my transition, for my brain to function and my heart to be patient while I am studying. Pray that I will become a part of my host family quickly.

Thank you for embarking on this adventure with me! It is wonderful and encouraging to think about all the people at home and around the world who are praying for me!

ps - One of the things I will miss the most about life in the US, I discovered these past 2 weeks, is fall. So if you feel so inclined, I would love to get pictures of fall, leaf rubbings, pretty leaves ironed in wax paper, anything fall related! I will get to the DR October 24 so you can send letters/whatever as early as mid-October. Please no packages as I have to pay for them, but letters can be sent to my address on the sidebar using normal US postage!

An answering and refusing

One of my favorite prayer books is by Walter Brueggemann, "Awed to Heaven, Rooted in Earth." (My Concert Choir buddies are probably laughing right now thinking about how many of his prayers I used for devos last year...!) I have been reading and rereading one of the prayers about God calling us and the paradox (they're everywhere!) of our answering.

We confess you to be the God who calls,
who wills,
who summons,
who has concrete intentions
for your creation,
and addresses human agents
who do your will.
We imagine ourselves called by you...
Yet a strange lot:
called but cowardly;
obedient but self-indulgent,
devoted to you, but otherwise preoccupied.
In our strange mix an answering and refusing,
We give thanks for your call.
We pray this day,
for ourselves, fresh vision;
for our friends, great courages,
for those who search for you
in places more dangerous than ours,
deep freedom.
As we seek to answer your call, may we be haunted
by your large purposes,
We pray in the name of the utterly called Jesus. Amen.

Colorado

I spent the past three weeks at Mission Training International's SPLICE program in Colorado. A few days after returning, I still struggle to adequately sum up my experience there. I learned about God, about myself, and about entering and adapting to a new culture and the stressors it brings. I meditated on the truths that God is God, God is good, and God is faithful. I learned that insulating myself, not allowing myself to feel the pain of life, also means I won't feel the joy of life. I learned to talk about my life and my feelings as a "pair of ducks" (paradox) - a "yay" duck and a "yuck" duck. It is normal to feel extreme joys and extreme sorrows simultaneously, and both are truth. I practiced remembering my joys and thanking God. I spent time outside hiking, playing with kids, and roasting s'mores. I made amazing, lifelong friends who are preparing to go all over the world to serve God, friends who challenged me, loved me, encouraged me, and made me feel normal! What a blessing it was to spend three weeks with fellow missionaries who understand the joys and struggles of this life! I found a roommate for my time in the DR - God provides! I feel refreshed, uplifted, and equipped to begin life in the Dominican Republic. I can't imagine being on this journey without the training SPLICE provides.

On "The Rock" with my wonderful Growth Group!

I am at home in Quakertown until September 12th, when I leave for language school in Guatemala. I will be in Guatemala for 6 weeks and go straight to the DR October 24. Language school at the Christian Spanish Academy is 6 hours of one-on-one tutoring, 5 days a week. I will live with a Guatemalan host family. Two other Kids Alive missionaries will be there at the same time, so hopefully we can explore the country together a little!

Please keep praying for me in this time of transition. Praise be to God, who gives us all that we need and loves us abundantly!

New Friends, New Songs, Same God

I have (finally!) started my journey toward the Dominican Republic! I am in Colorado until August 21 at MTI, learning about myself, about God, and about leaving my culture to enter another. I see over and over the ways that God has provided and continues to provide for me and for the other people here at MTI as we all are raising support and preparing for a new life.

A big blessing and surprise was that most of the staff of Makarios International, another Christian nonprofit that works in Montellano, is here at MTI with me! I get to make 10 new friends that will become my neighbors and friends and support structure in the DR - praise God! That is a great reminder that God really does go before me and prepare the way for me.

This summer has not been the easiest for my family. Well, that's sort of an understatement - it has been rough. I have been meditating on a passage of Scripture the past few weeks that has become a rock and an inspiration for me - Habakkuk 3:17-19:

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights."

Wow. Habakkuk was in a really terrible place, everything was going wrong, and still he said YET I will REJOICE in the Lord. This has been my prayer, that I will choose to rejoice in the Lord despite the hardships in my life.

Last night I was feeling a little overwhelmed by life, and one of my new friends noticed and asked me how I was doing. After listening to me vent a little, she told me she had a song for me to hear, and she played it for me. This new song is one of those songs you listen to and cling to when everything in your world is changing and upside down and confusing and - oh wait, sounds like I'm talking about getting ready to be a missionary! I know this post is a little long already, but I really want to share the lyrics with you:

I Have to Believe by Rita Springer

I have to believe that He sees my darkness
I have to believe that He knows my pain
I have to lift up my hands to worship
Worship His name

I have to declare that He is my refuge
I have to deny that I am alone
I have to lift up my eyes to the mountains
It's where my help comes from

He said that He's forever faithful
He said that He's forever true
He said that He can move mountains
And if He can move mountains
He can move my mountain
He can move Your mountain too

I have to stand tall when the wind blows me over
I have to stand strong when I'm weak and afraid
I have to grab hold, hold of the garments
Garments of praise

I have to sing praise when the hour is midnight
He unlocks the chains that bind up my soul
My sin and my shame, He has forgiven, and made me whole

I have to believe

Kids Alive's New Website

Kids Alive has launched their new website! Check it out at www.kidsalive.org.

You can also click here to go directly to the Dominican Republic page, where you can read about the different Kids Alive sites and click on my name to ... ta-da! ... support me online!

Speaking of which... my support is coming in slowly. I am trying to learn patience and trust, but a lot of the time I just want to skip to the part where I get to be in Caraballo already! I know that what I am going through now is an important step in my ministry and in my spiritual development, so I pray and wait and take care of things that must be done in the States. Please pray that my support will come in and that I will wait on God's timing.

Another step closer

I am officially registered and have my plane ticket for Mission Training International in Colorado August 3-21! I will be in their SPLICE program - here is a little excerpt from their website describing the program:

SPLICE’s three-week, pre-departure program is designed to help you–and your family–develop the practical skills and attitudes that will successfully take you through the challenging and rewarding process of being interwoven with another culture.

SPLICE focuses on your skill and character development in six vital areas:

Spiritual
Personal
Lifestyle
Interpersonal
Cultural
Endure/Enjoy

Moving from one culture to another, with all of the accompanying value differences, is similar to the process of splicing together the strands of two pieces of rope. Splices are never invisible, but, as any sailor knows, the completed splice becomes the strongest part of the rope.

I am so excited about this new step toward getting to the DR! You can check out MTI's website at www.mti.org.

A Long Overdue Update

So. I have not written in nearly two months. I would like to use the excuse that I have been too busy, but since graduation on May 10, I haven't done much! I have enjoyed spending time with my family, reading some good books (most recently, "Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's", by John Robison), and getting ready for Katy's wedding. I also reorganized and cleaned (almost) my bedroom, packing up things I won't need for a while, like sweaters, scarves, and school supplies - instead of a Hope Chest, I have a Hope Rubbermaid! Molly graduates from high school on June 15, and June 17 I leave for a wonderful week in Wheaton spending time with friends and celebrating the marriages of two of my best friends.

I am discovering the difficulties of long-distance relationships. So far, I haven't come up with too many benefits except realizing how much people mean to me and how hard it is not to do life with my close friends every day... This summer will hopefully give me time to figure out long-distance communication, though, and it eases us into my time in the DR - for a few more months, I am still accessible by normal phones, have internet all the time, and can buy a plane ticket to visit people for $150 instead of $600...

I only have two numbers for you this time:

8 weeks from Sunday I leave for missionary training in Colorado
I have raised 60% of my total support - 80% of the one-time costs and 55% of the monthly costs

I will go to Colorado (I think) regardless of what my support status is at that time, but I can't buy a plane ticket to Guatemala for language school until I have 90% of my support. My goal right now is to leave for Guatemala on September 5.

Please continue to pray for me. First, you can pray for my time of preparation this summer. I need to think seriously about logistics like banking and packing, but I also need to spend time preparing spiritually and emotionally, which I sometimes forget. Second, you can pray that the rest of my support comes in (and if you haven't yet, you can support me...) and that I will trust God in this situation. Third, you can pray for my relationships with my friends from Wheaton, that we would learn how to keep them strong and growing in this time of being apart. Finally, as strange as it may sound, pray that I will keep myself involved in music-making, both classical and nonclassical, this summer and when I move to the DR. I do not want to lose that part of me.

Something I have discovered about myself this summer is that I do not often pray using my own words. I love using prayer books, praying Psalms, and using worship songs as prayer, but I seldom actually talk with God. This also means I don't always do much listening. I am trying to change that, to talk to God like I talk to people, and to sit and listen more. At the recommendation of a friend, I am reading Madeleine L'Engle's "Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art," and I was struck by what she wrote about praying:

"Before I can listen to God in prayer, I must fumble through the prayers of words, of willful demands, the prayers of childish 'Gimmes,' of 'Help mes,' of 'I want....' Until I tell God what I want, I have no way of knowing whether or not I truly want it. Unless I ask God for something, I do not know whether or not it is something for which I ought to ask, and I cannot add, 'But if this is not your will for me, then your will is what I want, not mine.' The prayers of words cannot be eliminated. And I must pray them daily, whether I feel like praying or not. Otherwise, when God has something to say to me, I will not know how to listen."

This post has been a little jumbled - I apologize, but in a way it reflects my life right now. I am in a strange waiting period, not only for myself but also for my family, as Molly leaves for a year in the DR July 18 and Katy starts grad school in August. Without a structured schedule, my days and time get a little jumbled too.

Spring is here!

My last Chicago winter is finally over! The sun is shining, the trees and flowers are blooming, and everyone is out on the quad in flip flops... I think I will miss seasons these next two years - rainy and dry aren't real seasons.

It has been a whirlwind month here at school between classes, recitals, concerts, and a hilarious musical called The Boy Friend. We are beginning to realize how little time we have left and trying to make the most of it. (Which usually means not doing homework...!) Three weeks from tomorrow is Commencement. Wow. Wow. Here are some other numbers I have been thinking about lately:

15 weeks until my projected departure date
21 families and individuals who are supporting me
$1400 of one-time costs raised (15%)
$540/month of monthly costs raised (45%)

These last two, my support numbers, are amazing to me. Kids Alive wants me to be at 50% by graduation, and even three weeks ago I was pretty sure I wasn't going to make it. But I am humbled and reminded that God is faithful.

One of my friends gave a devotional in choir last week about Ecclesiastes. She is a senior as well, and she talked about sometimes feeling like what we do here is meaningless - it resonated with me. Then she read Ecclesiastes 3:11:

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

In its time. Right now, after months of waiting for spring, I understand that, but I'm not sure I always like it. I tend to want God to make things beautiful in my time, not his. The second sentence is what hit me, though, "He has also set eternity in the hearts of men." Maybe the reason we sometimes feel like our work is meaningless is that we long so desperately for eternity and for the things of God - the desires he has put in our hearts. Food for thought.

Being sent and Living in the tension

Romans 10:13-15 "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent?

Unless they are sent. I am not simply going out on my own to be a missionary. I am being sent in a multitude of ways - people are sending me by confirming my calling, people are sending me financially, people are sending me with their prayers and their encouragement. I am beginning to realize that being a missionary is not a solitary act but rather the act of a community shown publicly through an individual.

Sometimes I am tempted to brush aside my life here at Wheaton, to fast-forward a few months to August. It's hard not to be cynical and think, "This doesn't matter in the long run" or "I'm not helping anyone by being here, therefore this is inferior." I am working on accepting that we live life in seasons, and this is a season of both endings and preparation for new beginnings. As my Paul of Tarsus professor likes to put it, I am living in a little "already-not-yet" time (without any eschatological connotations, of course). Living in the tension can be hard and confusing, but I am also beginning to find the unique joy of both being present here at school and thinking about the island and my life there.

And so it begins

Here I am.

In just over five months, I will embark on a new adventure as a missionary. I will be serving with Kids Alive International in the Dominican Republic for 2 years. As of now, I will return to Caraballo, the village on the North Coast where I worked as a Kids Alive intern during summer 2007 on SMP.

Of course, being a missionary doesn't just start when I land on the island. I have already begun preparations for my trip, and there will be much more to come these next few months. (I thought I liked logistics...) On August 3rd, I will leave for 3 weeks of missionary training in Colorado, come home for 2 weeks, go to Guatemala for 6 weeks of Spanish school, and then move to the DR!

The most important part of my preparation is building a support base for both prayer and financial support. I need to have all my support either donated or pledged before I can leave. That means I have 5 months to raise $37,220. Wow. This is a huge test for me in trusting God. I know intellectually that God provides, but do I actually believe it? If I am meant to do this, God will make a way. He will.

I am so excited to have this opportunity to serve - to return to the DR and to the children I love so dearly! I am also excited to share this journey with all of you. I will do my best to keep you all updated, and I hope that you will pray for me and consider if and how you could support me.

Specifically right now, I would love prayer for me to be able to balance finishing school with preparing for the DR. I want to be able to be fully present in my classwork and in my relationships here and make the most of these last two months, but I also have preparations that need to get done and my mind drifts to the island a lot...

Jehovah Jireh.