Not your typical Christmas break...

It has been quite the month, and I am filled with thankfulness for God's sovereignty and grace!

Since my last post... Dustin and I had a wonderful time in Sarasota (beaches!) with his family for Thanksgiving and then said goodbye until March (or so I thought...). I finished my fall semester at Penn well, writing, teaching, and evaluating small group lessons and creating a massive, boring, teachery website to display it all.

Four weeks ago today I had surgery to remove a benign brain tumor. The surgery had originally been scheduled for December 5th, but got postponed to the 19th because the OR was double-booked. Praise: Since the surgery was a week before Christmas, both Molly and Katy could come help take care of me in the hospital and at my parents' house, so my parents didn't have to do it alone. I came home to my parents' house in Quakertown on the 23rd. Although I don't remember much from my hospital stay (again, God's grace!), I know I was in a lot of pain the first few days, and I've been told I said quite a few hilarious things that week! Thankfully, I did not experience any vertigo following the surgery - the surgeons had told me to expect pretty severe vertigo for a few weeks. And, against all odds, it seems that the surgeons were able to preserve a tiny bit of hearing in my right ear, although it's still too early to know how much. My family did a wonderful job of taking care of me all hours of the day and night. So did someone else, which leads to the next update...

Dustin and I are engaged!!!

Here's how it happened: Christmas Eve, around 8 pm, my dad got a phone call that there was a problem with the sound system at the church and they needed him to go fix it. Not that unusual, but what we didn't know was that my mom was the one who called him from the other room! So he left, and the four of us ladies settled into the family room. Dustin and I were supposed to Skype at 9 my time, but I called or he messaged (my memory is fuzzy... the drugs...) just before 9 and he said that he was going to need another 15 minutes. I assumed that he was just leaving wherever he had been eating Christmas Eve dinner in Sosua and was headed home to talk to me. A few minutes later, the garage door opened and the phone rang simultaneously. Katy said, "Oh, it's Dad," and passed the phone to Mom to answer. She passed it to me, and it was Dustin, saying hi and asking me where I was. I think I told him I was in my house, in a chair. Then, as the door opened, I finally put together that it was Dustin's voice, on my dad's phone, who had just gotten home, and I figured out that Dustin was in my house! I hung up the phone and started crying. My parents and sisters were all in the family room, watching the scene unfold. Even when I saw Dustin, I didn't think that he was going to propose - I was just so happy that he was there, with all the stress of the surgery and all the times I had told him, "I really wish you could be here." But after we said hello, he stepped back, said some beautiful words that, thanks to the drugs, I don't remember very well. Then he got down on one knee, got out a beautiful ring, and asked me to marry him! And I said yes, still crying.

Dustin had always said that if/when he proposed, I would never see it coming. And he was right - I had absolutely no idea! I was sure he would propose when I came to the DR for spring break. I even told him that! He did a great job of surprising me, even blogging about how he would spend Christmas Eve in the DR just to make sure I didn't suspect anything!

The moment I realized Dustin was IN MY HOUSE!
See him walking in on the left?

I said yes!

Dustin stayed until January 2nd, so we got to spend lots of time together resting (since I couldn't really do anything), celebrating Christmas and New Year's (complete with the Mummer's Parade), and just being together. He was a trooper, waking me up to give me my overnight meds, going out to the porch at 3 am to get me applesauce, making me do my physical therapy exercises, putting up with my whining, reading to me... Dustin's surprise visit definitely helped me recover faster! Again, God's perfect timing - I'm so thankful that Dustin was here soon after surgery to take care of me! We're planning our wedding for this summer in the Dominican Republic, which has kept me busy since he went home.

New Year's Day - feeling much better!

I had my post-op visit with the neurosurgeon this week, and he cleared me to ease back into normal activities, so I'm moving back to Philly on Monday and going back to school on Tuesday! Praise God - the previous estimate was a 6-8 week recovery period before I could return to school, but I'll be back just under 5 weeks after surgery. Everything related to the surgery has gone as well as it possibly could. I am thankful for a great team of doctors, yes, but more so for a great team of prayer warriors. I know many of you were and are praying for my surgery and recovery - thank you. God has blessed me immensely, and I hope that He will use my story to bring glory to His name and to encourage others.

Half Marathon!

So here we are, the last day of November, and I have not blogged a single word about this fall in Philadelphia. I mean, I am a little busy with school... (that's an understatement!) Brief overview of my life: I student teach 18 little kindergarteners alongside a wonderful mentor. When I'm not student teaching, I take lots of classes and write lots of papers. And in my free time this fall, I have been... wait for it... RUNNING! Some of you are probably scratching your heads, because of all the things I identify myself as/with, running is absolutely not one of them! But back in June, I decided I wanted to become a runner this year. So Dustin and I registered to run the Philadelphia Half Marathon, and I started running. A short bout of vertigo in August set me back a few weeks, but I picked it back up and trained for three months, running up to ten miles along the Schuylkill River on what seemed like the coldest mornings of the week!

Then came November. Dustin arrived on the 13th, and we had a wonderful reunion after being apart for 5 months. On Sunday the 18th, we woke up ridiculously early and made our way over to the art museum. And we did it! We ran the half marathon and both met our goals: he got an impressive time, and I finished! 13.1 miles. It was fun to have my parents and the crowds cheering us on, and to be able to entertain myself people-watching the other 30,000 runners! After the race, we went to Quakertown and had a party with most of my extended family - to celebrate the race and for them to meet Dustin.

Never did I think I would run a half marathon. Never. Remember Pico Duarte? I could hardly walk 13 miles then! So even though I have no desire to do another race, I am glad that I did this one. It forced me to make exercise a priority during these crazy transition months, and it made me a healthier, stronger person. (sounds cliche, but it's true) After the race, we went to Quakertown and had a party with most of my extended family - to celebrate the race and for them to meet Dustin. I will maybe (no promises, though!) add another post soon about Dustin's visit.

Here are some pictures for you! The first set are race pics. The white thing around me is a foil heat sheet (emergency blanket) - that was the first thing they handed us when we crossed the finish line because it was so cold!

Pics from Quakertown: post-race hot tub session (definitely good for sore muscles!), fun with Katy, ice cream sundaes (recovery food, right?), and early Christmas presents from my parents.

sobering statistics

The World Economic Forum recently published its 2012-13 Global Competitiveness Report. This annual report ranks 144 nations based on various criteria including infrastructure, macroeconomy, health, education, market efficiency, technology, and innovation.

The data on the Dominican Republic is sobering.

Of 144 nations, the DR ranks 105 overall; it ranks 20 out of the 24 Latin American nations. (1 is the best) But the individual indicators' rankings tell the real story. I'll group them into two categories: corruption and education. (all rankings are out of 144)

Corruption:
Favoritism in decisions of government officials: 144 (in other words, the worst in the world)
Wastefulness of government spending: 144 (again, worst in the world)
Reliability of police services: 143
Diversion of public funds: 142
Public trust in politicians: 138

Education:
Quality of primary education: 143 (second worst in the world)
Quality of math and science education: 142
Quality of the educational system: 137

Wow. If that's not a call to action, I don't know what is. I feel an added weight and a sense of urgency as I think about returning to this country, knowing that its leaders are hugely failing the people, especially in education. The public school education the children I love so dearly are receiving is the second worst in the world! So what do we do? I know what I'm going to do - study hard this year and become the best teacher possible while learning as much as I can about systems and oppression and fighting those things. Then I'm going back home to the DR to make a difference for the few children I can reach.

What about you? What will YOU do about this? I hope you will be informed - read part of the report, or all of it, or another report, or articles - do something to make yourself more aware about the state of education and corruption around the world. If you want to do more, consider partnering with Kids Alive as we work with some of the most at-risk children in the world. There are many organizations working hard to improve kids' lives, but Kids Alive is the only one I can personally vouch for. Our staff cares deeply for the children we serve, we see them at least 5 days a week, and we care for their spiritual and physical needs as part of a holistic program. We train children to become leaders in their own countries and communities, believing that the best way to rescue a child is not to take them to the US but to mentor and nurture them in their own communities, empowering them to make a lasting impact. If you would like to join Kids Alive's work in the Dominican Republic, consider sponsoring a child in one of our programs. You can read more about sponsorship by clicking here.

If you're interested in reading the WEF's Global Competitiveness Report, you can find it by clicking on the image below.

praise and prayer

I am officially 1/5 of the way done with grad school! Wow! Lots of reading, writing, thinking, and crying in the past two months, but I made it - praise God! Thank you for your prayers as I transition back into life in the US and into grad school.

Now I'm off to Colorado for a week of Debriefing and Renewal at MTI, the same place I did my pre-field training. (SPLICE - check my blog posts from August 2009 to read about that.) I am ready. Ready for rest, for help processing my time in the DR, for counsel on transitioning even though I know I'm going back, for being surrounded by people who understand exactly what I'm going through. SPLICE was such a sweet time, and I have high expectations for DAR!

I need your prayers always, but especially this week. I'm expecting encouragement and refreshment, but I'm also expecting hard emotional work, questions, and reflection. Here are some specific ways you can pray for me while I'm at DAR:

1. That God's truth would reign in my life, allowing me to recognize and reject any lies that I'm believing.
2. That I would be refreshed by my interactions with fellow missionaries and DAR staff, as well as alone time (reading a book for pleasure? yes please!)
3. That I would gain helpful insight about this strange lifestyle that is furlough - trying to plant myself firmly in America but knowing I'll be back in the DR in a year.

Here's a little info about DAR:

"DAR provides a safe and confidential place for you to reflect on the issues that have touched you deeply. It involves more than talking about your field experiences, although that’s the place it begins. Quality debriefing can lead to renewal. Going through this time of transition with other cross-cultural workers is vital. The insight gained from those with similar experiences provides both a sense of being understood as well as a fresh, objective perspective. The primary emphasis is on recognizing God’s hand in past events and anticipating the next step for which God is preparing you."

Finally, here are two photos from summer so far - I have enjoyed being able to spend more time with my family and reconnect with friends, and managed to squeeze a few fun weekends into my crazy class schedule!

for pondering.

I'm taking Literature for Children and Adolescents right now. That means my bookshelf looks like this:

I don't know if you can tell from the picture, but there tally is as follows: 7 picture books, 6 juvenile chapter books, and one - yep, one - textbook. Don't you wish you were taking children's lit? Our professor also reads us a picture book at the end of each class while we sit on the floor! I love it!

Anyway, for class tomorrow I read a historical fiction novel called The Dreamer by Pam Muñoz Ryan (she also wrote Esperanza Rising). It's a great fictionalized biography of Pablo Neruda, a Chilean poet who won the Nobel Prize, who lived in the early/mid 1900's. My favorite part about the book was that every so often a page would appear with illustrations (by Peter Sis) and thought-provoking questions. So I thought I would share them with you, along with a few excerpts. A little thinking for a Monday.

Which is sharper? The hatchet that cuts down dreams? Or the scythe that clears a path for another?

From what are the walls of a sanctuary built? And those of a prison?

Does a metamorphosis begin from the outside in? Or from the inside out?

The words he had written wiggled off the page... surrounding Neftali in a city of promise. Humanity, Solidarity, Generosity, Peace, Justice, Love. Then a tiny, conceited word came along. Like a hungry termite, it began to gnaw on the tall words, chewing at their foundation, gulping their pulp, until they swayed, toppled, and collapsed. All that remained was one fat, satisfied syllable. Fear.

And the last one, which has deep meaning for me as someone who travels between "homes:"

From the window, he watched as miles of araucaria trees dwindled to a scattered few. Still, when the last piece of forest disappeared and all that was left were stark adobe towns, he felt as if a piece of himself had been left behind, too.

snapshots from los estados

a smaller version of the famous LOVE statue. on the quad.
I think... Penn is HUGE and seems to have about 5 quads!

I have now been in los estados for a month and a day. It feels a little like a whirlwind that keeps spinning faster - my first two days of grad school have been a little overwhelming! We're taking 2 1/2 courses in 5 weeks, which means in a week I will (on average): read 2 novels and 20 scholarly articles, write 2-3 paragraph reflections on each of them, write a paper (or two), give a 10 minute presentation in one of my classes, spend one afternoon working at a local arts camp, and spend two mornings working at a local summer school program. Whew! Scheduling all that and figuring out what I need to read and write which day is hard enough, not to mention actually doing it!

Penn's campus is gorgeous. This is not the
Grad School of Education building... mine
is not nearly this pretty!

There are good things happening in my life, though - it's not all reading and studying. Yet. I am enjoying living in Philadelphia, exploring and taking advantage of all city life has to offer. Coffee shops, libraries, microwaves, free water at restaurants, pretty paths to run on without getting whistled at, constant power and hot pressurized water, HUGE grocery stores... Although I walked into a grocery store the other day and left empty-handed because I only wanted a cup of lettuce - totally achievable in the DR - but had to buy at minimum a whole giant head of it! So there are still overwhelming moments as I transition back to life in the US. I'm usually able to laugh at them, thankfully.

In addition to the "cosas" of life here, the people are turning out to be pretty great, too! I live in a house with 5 other girls in their mid-20's and have gotten to know 3 of them pretty well. My program at Penn is a cohort program, so there are 40 of us who take all our classes together and do our field work together. I am getting to know lots of them - a wonderful group of friendly, fun people from varied backgrounds - and am becoming good friends with a handful. Another HUGE PRAISE is that I found a church! It was the first church I went to, and I felt so welcomed by the people. They preach the Gospel every Sunday, eat dinner together as a congregation after church, have small groups, and have already recruited me to join the worship team! Praise God - I had prayed that finding a church would be easy (maybe not the least selfish prayer I have every prayed...) and he made it so easy! I am thankful for God's provision, faithfulness, and grace as I build relationships and ground myself here for the year.

Penn took us on a mural tour of
West Philly - so cool! This one
really struck me.

In the midst of all this, I do have moments when I miss home - my bed in Montellano, the beach, New Life Church, and of course the people - my kids, who sort of don't understand yet that I'm really gone, my wonderful Bible study groups, and Dustin. We've decided that long-distance dating is not fun, but we are confident that God will continue to sustain us, guide us, and grow our relationship through this time apart.

I still need your prayers, absolutely! Here are some specific prayer points:

• Pray for clarity of mind and a quick transition back into the academic world - reading, writing, time management, study skills, etc
• Pray for me as I sort through how my time in the DR has shaped my philosophy of education. This has come up numerous times in class already as I realize how differently I would answer a question than my classmates who approach the subject from a purely US-based mindset.
• Pray that as I get busier with school, I would be intentional about making time first for God, and also for relationships and life-giving/stress-relieving activities (I'm trying to become a runner...)
• Pray for Dustin and me as we work through long-distance, that we would continue to support each other well in our separate adventures (check out his blog to read about his Central America trip this summer!). We celebrated a year together this weekend, and I can absolutely see God's hand in our relationship. Pray for consistency and intentionality through the ups and downs and the crazy busyness of life. 

Caitlin, Julianne (roomies) and I celebrating the 4th of July
in Center City!

THANK YOU for your prayers, encouraging words, support, and love as I moved back to the States and began grad school. I have been blessed by so many of you - welcoming me excitedly, sending quick emails or texts, asking me how I am doing... thank you.

Buffering

As someone living in a third world country, I am all too familiar with the concept of buffering. If we want to stream anything off the internet – watch a video on YouTube, listen to a song online, or watch a tv show, we inevitably have to wait a few minutes for it to buffer – pre-load, if you will. When a video buffers, it loads a few minutes or seconds ahead of the moment you are watching. This ensures smooth playback. If you don’t let a video buffer (assuming your internet is not the incredibly fast internet we have in America), it jerks along, starting and stopping every few seconds, not able to keep up with itself.

Although I am not techy, I can make an analogy here to life. Under the advice of wise mentors from Missionary Training International, I took my first four days back in the United States as “buffer time.” These days were both types of buffer – first, the ‘streaming to avoid choppiness’ definition; second, a shield or cushion to lessen a shock or impact.

I spent those days on the Susquehanna River in Central Pennsylvania, sleeping, spending lots of time with God, processing, journaling, hiking, kayaking, sitting outside in the sun, reading, relaxing, and eating my weight in strawberries! It was a time of solitude, a time for me to be renewed after saying painful goodbyes so that I was energized to say hellos. It was time for me to be sad about being in the US without feeling the tension of everyone around me being excited for me to be in the US.

And God blessed me that week. He restored my soul, comforted me in my grief, brought me joy through his creation, and reminded me of his steadfast faithfulness. The past three years have been nothing but evidence that God is indeed faithful, that he provides abundantly to meet all of my needs, and that his sovereign purposes are for my good.

On my second day of solitude, I had a revelation. I’m currently doing a Bible study on the Psalms of Ascent by Beth Moore, and that particular day I had already done the lesson. I felt, for some reason, however, like I was supposed to do another day’s study, too – maybe because I’m about 3 weeks behind!! Anyway, I did the next day’s lesson, and a chunk of it was on bearing fruit. I realized that I was seeing this year in Philadelphia as a time of pruning and of preparing to be more fruitful in the DR when I return. How wrong I was! This year God has specifically planted me in Philadelphia to bear fruit! If I spend the entire year mourning the goodbyes I said and anticipating returning to the DR, not only will I miss out on blessings God has for me here, but I will miss out on the opportunity to bear fruit where God has planted me. He has ordained my time at grad school and my time in a long-distance relationship not only for pruning and preparing, but because he wants me to bear fruit in those situations. What a paradigm shift! I am so thankful that God revealed that lesson to me, and I pray that he would make me fruitful beyond what I can imagine this year.